My brother died 3 days ago. my mother is keeping me in the dark. I’m 30 years old. I’m almost 2000kms away and I’m so afraid. I can’t sleep I can’t function.

It’s going to be 3 years on July 8th and I still haven’t gone to his grave. It took about a year after he died to get the gravestone put up because of financial issues. My mom had stage 3 cancer and we had her bills and then a surprise death. Apart of me wants to go visit him and lay on his grave and talk to him about what has happened in my life since 2014, but then the other side of me doesn’t want me to see his name in big bold letters. My brother was not just a grave stone. He was the most caring and loving person. Does anyone have advice?
I need it.
I’m 17.

Mike, I wish you were here right now. Your birthday just passed and the anniversary of your death is approaching quickly. Just before Dad’s first father’s day without you, he received a text from a man claiming to be his son. We found a picture of him on Facebook from when he was probably close to my age and I broke down in tears. He’s our brother. I have been texting with him and we had a phone call. I want to talk to you about this so much. I think it would have brought us closer. He said he feels a sense of loss for the brother he never met and wants to know about you. I feel like I finally have someone who I can tell you about without them getting weird. You both share the same middle name! Mom is having a really hard time and missing you now more than ever. Dad is happy but stressed. We’re all missing and needing you Bubba. I think you guys would get along, you have a lot in common. Oh and guess what! You’re an uncle and I’m an aunt! He has three kids! Alright, this letter is all over the place. I just wanted to say I love you and wish you were here to share this with so so badly. Love, Airhead

I just lost my sister Karen 2 weeks ago. She took an overdose of pills. She had been grieving the last 6 months for her husband who lost his 3 year battle with pancreatic cancer. They had been married 32 years and had been inseparable. Her grief was just too much, she couldn’t live without him. I am her sister and we were very close only 21 months apart. She was my life long best friend. I can not believe I’m here on a suicide website. I can’t believe she is gone. Any words of encouragement welcome
Debbie

Hi, my name is tori and I’m 16 years old. It will be a year since my brother hung himself on June 29 and the hardest thing To deal with for me is school. I can’t focus and simply think it’s stupid for me to be so stressed out and worried about graduating high school when there are so many other more important things for me to try to deal with. Second semester last year I switched to an online school called foothills but ended up not doing my work enough and got kicked out. In the fall I want to do a dual enrollment program where I can do some classes (drama and easy going ones) at the high school and do my academic classes online but my parents are worried the same thing will happen with that and I will end up being really behind. My mom wants me to start back at my regular high school in the fall but between the fake people who pretend to be my friend just because my brother died and the work load and general non-helpful environment, I feel like I’m suffocating there and I can’t bare to go back full time. I just want to know if anyone on here has any advice or any knowledge of other schooling options that could better accommodate people who have felt the loss of a sibling through suicide. Thanks in advance <3

My little brother hung himself on June 13th. I’ve been on autopilot for the past week, taking care of my parents, trying to help my Mom struggling through the knowledge that my brother was a professed atheist. Relegated to the role of helper, fixer, runner, even to make sure our “guests” had seats, drinks, were comfortable and were all properly and graciously greeted and thanked for attending. Does anyone realize that we, as brothers and sisters lost someone too? Sorry, I’m just mad.

My sister hung herself and left notes. She was younger than me. That raises some heads because some people think that the older one usually feels suicidal. I was suicidal before, but wasn’t serious. She was serious.
QUESTION:
Do some of you feel destructive or more irritated or annoyed by people, such as your significant other or your parents? I blew up a few times, and had violent dreams of beating up my dad.
Do some of you notice a physical difference in experiencing the outside world? I’m more sensitive to sound now, weird.
Do some of you notice how fake someone is after the death? I was friends with people who didn’t even check up on me, or shoot me a text.
And then there were people who just came out of nowhere saying that they were here for me but they never were there for me before.
My sister suffered from depression. She hung herself with a belt and a rope with a knot on the end of the rope to hold herself on the top of the door. She succeeded, and probably did research. I sometimes think she did what she needed to do. I sometimes think that she was brave. I couldn’t have done that. She was brave enough to take that leap.
I was the first to know the death of my sister because my parents were out of the country. I had to wait to tell the news.
We go through some things in life but never have I ever thought of going through this. It makes me sad how I’m even on this site.

I can’t even begin to understand how all of this happened. My brother isn’t here and I have absolutely no way to change what has happened. He’s gone.
It has always been my job in my family to help everyone. I just didn’t KNOW!!! And I want to just scream but somehow I need to first protect my nieces and nephews so that somehow I can try to have my brother be at peace.
How could we not have seen it – how could I have been so stupid – how could no one have told me anything until it was too late!!!!
I will forever love you John and somehow I will ensure your children are cared for.

My brother hung himself on April 30th. Everyday is a physical struggle to go on. I’m shocked that the world goes on…bills still have to be paid, laundry still needs washed, I still have to work. I only want to sit and take a breath. I imagine his death over and over in my head. It’s a sick, twisted nightmare that won’t end. I loved my brother and wish I could of saved him.