On April 25 I got a text from my little brother saying where he was and how sorry he was. Attached was a Google docs suicide note. At first I was confused on what I was seeing. Then it hit. Like a train slamming into me. I quickly went to the spot where he was and there was already a ton of cops and my parents. We waited for what seemed like forever and then they finally told us you had shot yourself in the head and were not going to survive.
I was still in shock as I told mikel over the phone what had happened since he was out of town. When we got to the hospital there were so many people asking questions. Cops nurses doctors surgeons social workers you name it.
We took you off the ventilator April 26.
Since then I’ve moved back in with mom and dad not by choice, sold my car, quit my job, and got dumped all because of what happened.
Here we are 4 1/2 months later and all I wanna do is scream at you. My life is completely ruined. I’m miserable without you and I miss you like crazy.

One thought on “Josh

  1. Dear Josh: Every story is different but ours is similar. After my sister died by suicide I lost my job, relationships and more. For me, it’s been over two years of coming to grips with what happened. She was my little sister and best friend and a huge part of my future. But I am rebuilding, on my own timeline, and I know you can too. On your own timeline. I hope you have found a survivors of suicide group in your area or a good therapist, where you can vent and be supported. It is so important. This message is sent to you with all the love that a stranger with similar experiences can send…

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