We just passed a year, a whole year since we last spoke, last hugged, last laughed. It still doesn’t seem real, most days, that I will never be able to do those things with you again. That I can no longer pick up the phone and call you to tell you about a new horror movie coming out. That I can no longer go to the Target around the corner and see your smiling face behind the counter. I miss you so much it hurts. I have never known a pain like this. Some days it’s hard to breathe, knowing that you’re gone. But everyday I am thankful that I was blessed with having you as my little brother for 21 years. We didn’t always get along. There were days when you hurt me, when I was unhappy with your decisions, when I was just down right mad at you. But I always loved you. And I always will. It breaks my heart that I couldn’t help you. That I couldn’t save you. But I will live my life for you. And with you in my heart. Always.
To Hunter
So I know this website is based around siblings, which you and I are not. But I consider my girlfriend’s family, my family. You were her brother.
You’ve been gone for over 8 months now. And man, nothing is the same without you Hunter. Absolutely nothing. God, everything has been such a blur since then. Nothing feels real. I remember the night my girlfriend got that call, she had just picked me up from work and we were getting ready to watch a show and have some dinner. Things were going well… but that call, that DAY, changed everything. Hunter I wish I made more of an effort to get to know you like I did your twin brother. You and him had a unique chemistry, it hurts so bad that you are gone now. I still remember seeing you around your house. But every single day I regret the fact that you and I were almost strangers when you died. It eats away at me. Getting to know your twin brother has been awesome throughout the months, but I just wish you were here too. We all do. My girlfriend is torn without you. Your brother is too. It’s just so awful Hunter… I wish you knew how much your friends and family love and care about you. I truly hope you are at peace. You deserve peace Hunter. I’m sorry you couldn’t find peace in this world… and I’m sorry I was a stranger when you needed a friend. I know you would have been a good friend. Rest easy Hunter. I hope to see you again some day.
Drowning in unanswered questions
It has now been 7 months since I lost first my sister-in-law to suicide and then my brother 5 days later the same way. 1 month later I lost our Mom to cancer. I am dealing with all of it pretty well on the outside but on the inside, I am a wreck. I can accept my Mother’s death, although broken-hearted, we were prepared. But my sister-in-law and MY BROTHER??? It was under horrible circumstances but it seems like now my thoughts are turning toward even worse thoughts/questions. Was there more to the story then what I was told? Was my brother feeling guilty for more than what he let on? I hate these thoughts, but I cannot fathom leaving your children and your sister to deal with the aftermath. I don’t know if this is the anger part of grieving or if I am seeing things through clearer eyes. I will NEVER have the answers but I want so badly to stop thinking about what happened, what caused it and WHYYYYYY? Just lost in my own thoughts lately.
I’m Sorry, To My Sister
Its only day 2 without you, and Im sitting here crying thinking i can somehow go back in time to stop you from doing it. But i cant. And it hurts.
When we got the phone call i didn’t know you were gone, i thought you were just hurt. I know it sounds bad, but i wish you were just hurt…. i need you here. I really do. I don’t know how to survive without you sister. November 1st 2017 was the worst day of my life and it always will be.
It always will be.
I just talked to you hours before you decided to do this and you seemed okay. And I’m sorry for assuming you were okay. Because you told me you weren’t… multiple times. Multiple times you told me you were depressed and i listened and understood. Which made you open up to me more and want to be closer to me. I should’ve took you more seriously knowing how powerful depression is. I know sometimes i acted cold towards you, but i loved your hugs and your kisses and i wish i were a better sister. I really wish i was. I can never replace you, or be the sibling you ever were to our brother. But i’ll be a better sister for him i promise. I miss you so much already..i know this will only get harder.
Just kiss our brother in Heaven for me, and our uncle and grandmother and our favorite cousin Phyllis who i know you’re happy to be with again. I love you sis.
2 siblings gone
There was four of us. My brother Jamie the oldest, then me, followed by my sister Mandie and last but not least the baby Tomi Ann. July 15th 2014 Jamie drove to the top of the mountains and ran a hose from the tail pipe of his pickup and ended his life leaving behind 3 beautiful girls ages 20 and twins 15. My world was turned upside down that day. Hard to imagine anything in life could be that bad. Fast forward to July 26th 2017 my baby sister Tomi Ann pulled her truck into her garage and did the same thing. Leaving behind 4 kids 20, 8 and twin 2 year olds. WHY? How do Mandi and I deal with this again? How do these beautiful nieces and nephews go through life without their parent? I talk to Mandie often on the phone she lives in Alaska and me in Colorado so we rarely see each other. We find o
Ourselves crying our eyes out to each other. Hoping to find some sort of relief from this horrible pain.
It was my fault
My brother took his life a little more than three months ago. I completely see it as my fault. I had this built up resentment against him because I had heard something he said about me. I don’t even remember what it was.
I had been contemplating doing the same thing a week before but I changed my lifestyle to shift. I constantly think that it should have been me. I miss him so much.
I saw the text. I saw the last text that he would ever send. And I didn’t even open it. He said he loved us (group message). The only one to reply was my mom.
I don’t know how to grieve. I’ve never had a loss in my family before. I didn’t see this coming. I was focused on petty drama. I can’t shake the feeling that it was either my fault or should’ve been me.
I miss you Albert. I love you
To my sister Abby Rae
Still today I am here without you. I miss you like crazy but I am staying strong. The strongest I ever can be. I really do miss you a lot. Miss you sissy and love you forever
I lost my older sister just 12 days after my 14th birthday
Dear people. Just 12 days after my 14th birthday in September of 2015 I had lost my favorite oldest sister and favorite person in my life. Her name was Abby. She was born December 15, 1998 and died September 26, 2015. Still today is hard and crazy without her. I miss her a lot and never wanted to lose her.
But she had to leave me at a very young age. she was only 16 and would of been 17 that year.
What do I do now?
Hey Antoni,
This Tuesday will be 6 weeks since you decided to give up on us. I miss you like crazy, you have no idea how hard it is for me. I started drinking again. I know I promised you I wouldn’t, but I don’t like staying with my thoughts. Besides, you’re gone now so that promise doesn’t count anymore. Today’s the first day this week I haven’t gotten drunk but the night is still young, I’ll try my best not to.
Antoni, how do I respond to the question about how many siblings I have? If I say two older and two younger, I get upset knowing you’re not actually here. But if I say two younger one older, it’s like I’m trying to get rid of you. Both are terrible options. I just want you back.
You knew exactly how to help me fight my own demons. Now I’m struggling on my own and I’m not very good at it. This is my first semester in college, and I can’t even imagine the next semester yet alone the next few years.
You promised to stay with me. Now I’m alone, and I just don’t know what to do?
PLEASE JUST WAKE UP. WAKE UP!! I NEED YOU. YOUR LITTLE BABY SISTER NEEDS HER BIG BROTHER. PLEASE, please.
I love you Tonio, I’m sorry I failed you.
RedRider4Life
My youngest brother hung himself after his wife left him… He came to stay with us to get back on his feet … he hung himself in our barn on my birthday ! It’s been almost 7 months and it doesn’t get any easier! I feel guilty that I didn’t really think he would do this, that I let him down, that I didn’t see the signs and most of all I let my parents and other brother down! My husband found him… he uses that against me now!! I can not repay that debt!! I’m so so sad and sometimes I am emotionless! Stunned
No one can help… he is gone