I’m Sorry, To My Sister

Its only day 2 without you, and Im sitting here crying thinking i can somehow go back in time to stop you from doing it. But i cant. And it hurts.
When we got the phone call i didn’t know you were gone, i thought you were just hurt. I know it sounds bad, but i wish you were just hurt…. i need you here. I really do. I don’t know how to survive without you sister. November 1st 2017 was the worst day of my life and it always will be.
It always will be.
I just talked to you hours before you decided to do this and you seemed okay. And I’m sorry for assuming you were okay. Because you told me you weren’t… multiple times. Multiple times you told me you were depressed and i listened and understood. Which made you open up to me more and want to be closer to me. I should’ve took you more seriously knowing how powerful depression is. I know sometimes i acted cold towards you, but i loved your hugs and your kisses and i wish i were a better sister. I really wish i was. I can never replace you, or be the sibling you ever were to our brother. But i’ll be a better sister for him i promise. I miss you so much already..i know this will only get harder.
Just kiss our brother in Heaven for me, and our uncle and grandmother and our favorite cousin Phyllis who i know you’re happy to be with again. I love you sis.

5 thoughts on “I’m Sorry, To My Sister

  1. I lost my younger brother who was 22 years young on the 24th of October 2017, 3 days before my birthday. It still doesn’t feel like a reality to me. I keep waiting for a text or phone call. I still cry multiple times throughout each day. I will never fully recover from his passing.

    1. I also lost my brother, aged 22 on 31st August 2017. Two weeks after having my first child. It was the best of times followed by the absolute worst of times. He was my favourite person in the world and we were exceptionally close. I will never be complete again and will miss him with every ounce of my being every single day. Xx

  2. I lost my brother a week ago and I have never felt pain like it. Everything has stopped in the world for our family. I can’t see a way forward but hopefully there is.

  3. Lost my only Brother Trent Nov 4th, 2017. I do not believe the all of a sudden shock will ever go away. Everyday I think about wanting to communicate with him. Should I call his phone to hear his voice. Should I go over his texts. I wish he would have not made such a final decision. I miss him so bad!!

    1. I too lost my brother, he took his life on 11/29. I do not have the courage to hear his voicemail nor to read the thousands of text I have saved on my phone. This is so hard WHY WHY WHY… so many families left devastated and forever heartbroken. My brother owned a piece of my heart and the thought of never seeing him, talking to him, hugging him is killing me inside. I hope and pray to god that this terrible sadness does get better with time. God bless you and hope you find some comfort.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *