Lost My Little Brother to Suicide

I recently lost my younger brother (age 45) on 3/15/24 to suicide. I am now an only child when all I have known is having my brother. I thought we would grow old together. I thought he would always be there with me after my parents are gone. I have 2 daughters. He did not have any children and lived alone. He struggled to have relationships as he was judged. I think something really bad happened on the internet and I am so scared to find out what they may have been.I had to go over to my parent’s house in my pajamas the other morning as my mom called me sobbing. It is heartbreaking. I have been off this past week but go back to work tomorrow and as a provider, I had to have my staff put all the potentially suicidal patients on someone else’s schedule as I don’t think I could take it having to hear someone else wanting to end their life.

The oddest part is he wasn’t a depressed person or he hid it well. I had more issues with depression than he did. The morning of he sent me a text saying his facebook was hacked. He also had talked to my mom and seemed very upset about some interaction on the internet. None of us know what actually happened but there is an investigation and we are still waiting for information. Part of me wonders if he was going through something though.

It has hit me hard. I still think I am in some sort of nightmare and I will wake up and tell him that thank god this is not real. But I have not waken up and it has been almost 10 days.

Prayers to all of you who have had to endure this pain.

One thought on “Lost My Little Brother to Suicide

  1. Sending you love. I’m so sorry. My brother took his own life and I empathize. The pain feels unendurable sometimes.

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