Isabelle

My Sister was 18, turning 19 this year, if she was still alive. When I first knew that you overdosed on pills. Waves of emotions came flowing in. I didn’t know what to do, all that I could’ve done was to pray and hope that you’ll make it through. You know that I wasn’t that much of a religious person. But when I was in the hospital. I’ve begged God to save you and tried remaining as optimistic as I could be living that you would have made it through. Even during your final hour I’ve believed so. However you did not make it. My emotions overwhelmed me. I didn’t know what to do, I was lost for the first time in my life, I’ve never cried so much in my life before, I felt so much anger and sadness I couldn’t even react to the people around me. I’m so angry at the fact that, How could you have left us just like that ¬†how could you just leave me alone in this world to fend for myself, you were my only Best Friend in this world and the only person that I could have trusted. I miss you so so much that it hurts me to tell people that I’m fine and that I’ve moved on even though I did not. I felt so useless as an older Brother, I couldn’t save you, I still miss you so much even though it’s been month . Every time I get reminded of you, it hurts so much that I’ve became numb to the pain. I really miss you so much that I would have given up anything in this world just to talk to you even for just a minute. I hated this loneliness that could never be cured no matter how much my friends are there for me. But, the only thing I can do now, is to fake a smile and make it so that people believe that I’m over it . However, I’ll never forget you, I wish I could see you again, no matter what it takes. I love you.

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