Isabelle

My Sister was 18, turning 19 this year, if she was still alive. When I first knew that you overdosed on pills. Waves of emotions came flowing in. I didn’t know what to do, all that I could’ve done was to pray and hope that you’ll make it through. You know that I wasn’t that much of a religious person. But when I was in the hospital. I’ve begged God to save you and tried remaining as optimistic as I could be living that you would have made it through. Even during your final hour I’ve believed so. However you did not make it. My emotions overwhelmed me. I didn’t know what to do, I was lost for the first time in my life, I’ve never cried so much in my life before, I felt so much anger and sadness I couldn’t even react to the people around me. I’m so angry at the fact that, How could you have left us just like that  how could you just leave me alone in this world to fend for myself, you were my only Best Friend in this world and the only person that I could have trusted. I miss you so so much that it hurts me to tell people that I’m fine and that I’ve moved on even though I did not. I felt so useless as an older Brother, I couldn’t save you, I still miss you so much even though it’s been month . Every time I get reminded of you, it hurts so much that I’ve became numb to the pain. I really miss you so much that I would have given up anything in this world just to talk to you even for just a minute. I hated this loneliness that could never be cured no matter how much my friends are there for me. But, the only thing I can do now, is to fake a smile and make it so that people believe that I’m over it . However, I’ll never forget you, I wish I could see you again, no matter what it takes. I love you.

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