Its only day 2 without you, and Im sitting here crying thinking i can somehow go back in time to stop you from doing it. But i cant. And it hurts.
When we got the phone call i didn’t know you were gone, i thought you were just hurt. I know it sounds bad, but i wish you were just hurt…. i need you here. I really do. I don’t know how to survive without you sister. November 1st 2017 was the worst day of my life and it always will be.
It always will be.
I just talked to you hours before you decided to do this and you seemed okay. And I’m sorry for assuming you were okay. Because you told me you weren’t… multiple times. Multiple times you told me you were depressed and i listened and understood. Which made you open up to me more and want to be closer to me. I should’ve took you more seriously knowing how powerful depression is. I know sometimes i acted cold towards you, but i loved your hugs and your kisses and i wish i were a better sister. I really wish i was. I can never replace you, or be the sibling you ever were to our brother. But i’ll be a better sister for him i promise. I miss you so much already..i know this will only get harder.
Just kiss our brother in Heaven for me, and our uncle and grandmother and our favorite cousin Phyllis who i know you’re happy to be with again. I love you sis.
This is not a suicide or crisis resource. Please contact a counselor, family member, friend, or emergency services if you are having suicidal thoughts.
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