To the best big brother a girl could ask for.

Dearest big brother:
I love you. More and more everyday. Losing you has made me see the true depth of love. I miss you. It has been a year and two months, and I find myself more lost than I could have ever fathomed.
My whole life purpose I thought was to protect you. I was going to go to law school, to know the mental health laws- so I could make sure you were safe. Now I am left to do it all in your honor, and I can’t help feeling like is there even a point anymore? Nothing is going to bring you back.
I have never felt more stuck. Stuck in grief, stuck in loss, stuck in the memories. We had so much more fun things to do together. We were going to take our kids to disney world, we were going to do life together. I truly lost a best friend, my big brother.
I hope you are in the happiest place playing the drums, and beating with love. And my wish is that you would have known how talented and amazing you were. I wish we all took the time to tell you. I wish I could have spent more time with you. I love you so much. And i don’t know how my heart will ever heal without you.

3 thoughts on “To the best big brother a girl could ask for.

  1. I can relate so much. My one and only brother died this past November and it still feels like yesterday. I feel stuck in this crazy grief cycle. It’s so painful and complicated.My brother’s birthday is coming up this Friday April 7th. I have such a big hole in my heart. A sinking feeling. I too want to advocate for mental health support but it hurts and I don’t know where to start. I will not,nor will my life EVER be the same. ? I feel for you and am so sorry for your huge loss

  2. Hope and comfort to you both — I lost my sister in February and hurts so bad, every day. Hugs to you both in your time of sorrow. Praying for all of our strength.

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