To my best friend and also my brother…

To my best friend and also my brother…Keegan. It’s almost been four months now and I’ve been told that as time passes it gets easier. Well I’m not sure who came up with that statement but it’s a lie. The girls and I miss you so much. I’ve been being so strong for them because I know that’s what you would want/expect from me. I feel like I let you down as a sister by moving out last year. I know you were mad at me but I was obviously too selfish to care. I cry everyday in hopes that I can see you one last time. You were only 16, about to get your license, you had so much going for you dude. You were amazing at guitar, I watch videos of you playing frequently and find myself bawling. I’m sorry for the times I would knock on your door and tell you to turn your amp down when I lived at home. I would do anything in this world to hear that again. I worry about you a lot, I worry about if you’re safe up there, if you have friends, are you really watching over me? Oh and I hope you met Granny at the gates of heaven. And btw Uncle Chuck has cancer again and they said its spread too much and he’s on a liquid only diet. Things are terrible here. I just miss you so much and I wish you were here to help me get through all this. I need you and I love you.

 

One thought on “To my best friend and also my brother…

  1. My sister, my best friend, my buddy took her life August 6, 2015. I feel like I am living on a different planet. Nothing seems right. I still see you in the ICU with mom sitting by your bedside.She looked some small and frail. I hate that I have to witness mom going through this.I feel so sorry for her. We always took care of mom together and now I am all alone to see what this has done to her. Not to mention your girls. I miss all the fun we had just doing nothing. I feel like half of me died and I’m not sure how I will get through the holidays. I always thought not matter what happens we had each other.

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