Remembering Todd

A year ago on January 19-2018 I lost my younger brother Todd to suicide. He shot his self in the head and that is a phone call I will never forget. It’s been so hard to try and understand why. He was not only my brother he was my best friend. I think about him everyday and the pain never goes away.

6 thoughts on “Remembering Todd

  1. I lost my only brother, only sibling as well. I think often, people don’t realize that of us, as siblings, we lost so much more than just a brother. Our best friend, our nemesis, the person who knows you better than anyone else in the world. The person who would make fun of you for days but be the first one at your side if anyone else ever messed with you. I wish I could say the pain will go away, but I not so sure about that. I think they will become like a phantom limb to us. Still there, we can still feel them, hear them, but we just can’t reach out and touch them. I’m very sorry for your loss.

    1. Beautifully put. I miss hearing about all the things my brother remembered from our childhood that I don’t. I hate that I’ll have to take care of our parents alone. I miss my brother. I’m sorry for your loss.

  2. I lost my only brother 3 weeks ago to suicide. I fear what the future will bring because now is so sad and empty. I wonder if I will ever feel “normal” again. I miss him terribly. Having his memorial service in two days.

    1. I’m sorry for your loss. I remember once my brother’s service was over was when things started sinking in more. People weren’t in and out of our house anymore. It felt like we were expected to start moving forward. It took me 2 months to get back to work and school. And even then, I did both part time for the better part of two years. I still have missing gaps of time from our first year without him. Just take it moment by moment, day by day as best as you can. You will always miss your brother. It won’t always feel like it does right now though. Some days are much better, some are just as hard, but it’s all temporary. So take the bad days and moments in stride and enjoy the happy moments when you can. Wishing you and your family the best.

  3. I’m sorry for your loss. For me, three years later, the waves of pain are usually just as big when they come crashing but they’re farther between than they used to be. Sending you warm virtual hugs.

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