My Older Brother

Loss my older brother to suicide August 27th, 2018. He left behind four kids. I just want him back. It wasn’t his time and i know he didn’t mean too. The worst part is that i feel maybe, MAYBE something could’ve been done. He left a voice message saying he wished he could speak to me, that if he could he wouldn’t do it. I just feel so lost, i don’t know life without him. I need him and want him back. GOD PLEASE GIVE ME STRENGTH

3 thoughts on “My Older Brother

  1. Hi there, I have been feeling a lot of guilt myself lately. My older brother died in July 2018. The thought that it could have played out another way is a frequent one for me and my mind will return to it over and again. I think my mind is not doing anything wrong, it’s trying to solve the problem, to go back and fix it. That part of my mind however I think is not clued in to the reality of what occurred, the finality of it and to time in general. Settling this guilt and these thoughts about how things could have gone is like telling someone with dementia over and over again what year it is, what their name is, etc. So I don’t know if that part will ever settle completely but as the part of me that is aware of what occurred, I am going to keep showing up to comfort it in it’s distress. All the best to you in your process and thank you so much
    for sharing.

  2. My brother shot himself December 31st 2018. I had a missed call from him that night because I was partying but talked to him earlier that day in the morning. He told me a few weeks before he passed that all he needed to hear was my voice and talk to me and everything was gonna be okay. He promised he wouldn’t do it, but unfortunately the demons in his head convinced him otherwise. I feel that pain of missing him and wishing we just had a little more time, anything to save a big brother. I feel your heartbreak and hope one day the pain becomes more bearable.

  3. I lost my big brother today 4/05/19. He shot himself. I’m lost and hurting so bad. I love him. I miss him. Why? This has been my biggest fear. To lose someone I love. It feels like a bad dream.

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