My dear sweet brother. We only lost you a few weeks ago and the reality of the permanency of what you’ve done has only just hit us. It has tore Mum apart and nothing will ever be the same. I have so many questions and am feeling numb but at the same time my mind is racing. Life seems to go on around us but we feel stuck in this never ending cycle of grief. The pain you must have been in breaks my heart, but the pain we are all in without you is utterly unbearable…