It’s not even been a month that my brother hanged himself. Still not able to believe that he is no more in this world. Not able to understand why I am still alive. I feel responsible for everything he had gone through. I feel like dying. I did not speak to him as I was angry at him for few months. Before talking to him he left. I need him back.

Dean, I can’t be mad at you. You were my second half for 22 years. I would’ve done anything to have had my little brother for much much longer. But you couldn’t take it anymore. I’m just going to miss you so so much. I don’t doubt that you loved me, loved all of us. And I know that the happiness you had–even at the end–was real and true. I wish you would have opened up about your inner turmoil. That just wasn’t you though, was it?
I’m trapped in that bathroom with you though Dean. I can’t stop thinking about what was passing through your mind as you lit that grill, tapped the door, and put our pictures around you. Anytime I hear a household sound I wonder if you heard the same before you went to sleep. I hurt so badly Dean. To see dad fall to his knees. To know mom was so far away and to hear her on the phone. To see Kristy try to rush past the cops. Did you remember when we would try to splash the water out of the tub as kids when you layer down in it? Did you remember the times when we would ride on grandma’s knees as you wheeled the grill in past her chair? I can’t stop thinking about all of this. I’m trapped in there with you.
I know you didn’t want to hurt us. I know that you knew it would, but you still felt like this was what you needed to do. I’m trying to be happy that you’re at peace Dean. But I’m a terribly selfish brother. I want nothing more than for you to barge into my room and laugh again.
I love you Dean. I’ll always miss you.

My bestie, this day is 38 years too early !!!
You always said you would only be ready to leave this world behind if you reached the age of 77, 1977 was your birth year, but this day came 38 years too early !!!
You always told me one day when we are old, how the two of us is going to live together, I always imagined those days on my mind, never expecting that you would take that change away from us.
But this day was 38 years too early!
You are not supposed to be with me in spirit, but we’re supposed to feel your hugs and kisses;
You’re not supposed to be in my dreams and thoughts for the rest of my life, but we are supposed to plan together our next travel trip that we so much loved to do;
Your children are not supposed to live rheir lives without their mother, but you’re supposed to share with them every big event;
We’re not supposed to a Christmas or birthday with your seat empty, but you’re supposed to share those important days with us;
and our parents were not supposed to bury their child.
Nettie , you were not only Lynette my loving sister for 38 years but truly my best friend, ‘my person’
But this day came 38 years too early and I will have to go through life without hearing your voice, laughing with you, gossiping with you and loving you!
This was the first time you decided to travel on your own, an unknown journey to an unknown destination. My heart will be broken forever, we were travel buddies, and now I have to travel alone, only taking our memories with me.
My dear sister, may your death not go unnoticed, no one’s life that you touched should ever be the same again, and no one should ever forget lesson we all learn from your death.
For this day, 38 years too early !!!

It has been 2 months and one week, since my sister, Sharon killed herself. I am still in a state of shock that she is gone. The way she killed herself is also something that haunts me. She bought a gun and two days later, went to a church park, laid down and shot herself in the head.

She had struggled with bouts of depression her entire life, and the last two months before she died were very hard, She was severely depressed and had countless medical tests done to determine what was causing the physical pain. No diagnosis was ever provided. She had just started going to a psychiatrist and counselor before her death. She checked herself into a behavioral center and was released five days later. I also took her to an emergency room spending the day getting tests done. She was shuffled along in the mental health care system with no help for her severe depression or state of mind.

Some days are worse than others. I hope every day that I can find the strength to go on without her. I miss her so much. We were very close, but I had no idea that she would ever take her own life. I just want to hear her voice again. I want to remember her life, not her death. I hope someday I can.

My brother Jimmy committed suicide 39 yrs ago this August 30. For years we would talk around it, if someone asked how he died, we’d say in an accident. He died in a time when you didn’t talk about suicides. Over the years I still don’t talk about him. He was my older brother and I love him very much. He was 27 when he died and he was my best friend, my mentor, the one I could always count on and then he was gone. He was a great guy with a big heart and the problem I still have is I can never talk about him and tell people all the great memories I have. I feel ashamed to the them how he took his life. I feel like I’m betraying him, telling his secret. I know that’s crazy but that’s how we were brought up. If anyone has tips on getting started on opening up, I appreciate it.

To Peter, on the 23rd of May 2014 my whole world was turned upside down, I had music practice in town and I was coming home at around 9pm to find my dad and a neighbour trying to get the ropes off of you. I didn’t fully understand as I was only 11 at the time and had never fully understood suicide. My dad has come home from work to find you had committed suicide I ran to get my blanket to put around you and a knife to cut the rope off. Soon the ambulance and all our neighbours were in our garden. I was so scared and upset. My Mam fainted so that gave me more things to worry about . Me my Mam, dad and older brother stood beside you while the ambulance men tried to bring you back to life. But it was too late, you had been taken from this life and I never got to say goodbye. It is now over two years later and it’s only properly sinking in that Your gone forever . I love you so much and miss you so much. But I forget little memories everyday and it’s killing me to say that I even forget how to say your name sometimes. Life hasn’t been the same since you left, I’m finding it difficult to cope with most things and I struggle alone as I don’t tell anyone about my problems. I have friends but there is no one who understands the pain I’m going through . I have no one to turn to. Two years ago you left with no explanation, no note or text to explain why you thought suicide was the only answer. I really want to know why because I keep thinking and rethinking about things you said and I can’t help feeling that I might’ve said something to upset you. Please Peter help me to start to cope properly and try and talk to me if you can or send me signs that your with me because I’m starting to loose hope. I love and miss you so much. Love from your little sister aveX

I lost my brother to a gunshot wound last June. He had been suffering from PTSD and was seeking help, but he was haunted every minute of every day. Unfortunately, he took his own life and now my sister and I feel empty and have no hope for the future. I especially have no desire for anything anymore. My heart is broken.

I lost my brother on March 28 of this year and it has been devastating to my family and me. I was moving forward on my grief journey until I visited his wife in his home. It was so difficult to spend time in his home and I feel like I have had a major setback in my grief journey. It hurts so much.

It was an average day until around 12:00am, when policemen came knocking on our door, telling my Mom that a boy was found unconsciously lying on the ground floor of the apartment building and that they believed it was her son. They rushed us to the hospital, and that was it, it was my 2nd eldest brother; her son. Confirmed dead. Tears started flowing from my Mom’s and my little brother’s eye. I looked at my eldest brother who was trying to hold in his tears. My Mom tried a couple times to call my Dad who was on a business trip in Boston, but she couldn’t dial due to her hands shivering which was out of her control. My eldest brother helped her to call my Dad. My Dad picked up the phone and my Mom just started crying even harder, telling him to come home immediately and that their beloved son is now dead. It was the first time I felt so helpless, it felt like all the happiness in the world was gone. I wish 6/23 never existed in 2016.

Subject: Corey

I found my brother after he killed himself in October 2013, The pain everyday is horrible! I ask my self daily ” What could I have done different for him” ??? I still can not answer that question…. I miss him so much, his crazy smile, silly jokes, his wild and crazy curly hair!