It’s been a while, 7 years in fact, and life has never really been the same since that that day. God only knows how much you struggled, and I can only imagine how much pain you went through. I understand, it just still hurts so much.
I know you would want me to be happy and free, in ways you couldn’t be, but I have to be honest and say how much it still hurts. I know I’m not the same, but I’m trying really hard to be the genuinely happy person I was way back when. Please don’t feel bad about what happened, it’s not your pain to feel anymore, but I pray that one day I will take the pain and become all that I am sure you would love me to be.
I miss you brother. Even though there was a big age gap between us, I feel connected to you like no one else in our family. You and I are so similar, and sadly it’s only through your death that I now see how many things we share in common – spirituality, love of adventure, and music. I wish so much you were still here to explore these things with you now that I’ve grown up. To be your friend.
I love you. I always did, even when I was too caught up in my own trivialities that kept me from trying to help you more. Time cannot bring you back, but I know that I’ll see you again one day and till then, you’ll be with me through it all, every step of the way.
I’ll always be your little sister. You’ll always be my big brother. There will always be love.