I found this site and reading everyone’s stories and words are so very sad. I’m so sorry to all of you. I have realized we are a community bigger than I ever knew.
My 24 yr old baby sister commit suicide by firearm in January. She just finished her Masters. She was the most beautiful woman I ever knew. We were not super close due to age and distance. I cannot deal with the guilt. I missed 2 calls months prior and idk what she needed. I failed her. I got the text at 136 am from my mom that she was gone. The whole family is no longer speaking and I feel so very alone. I moved to Texas a few years ago and no one really knows me but they all know about this and I really feel closed and I can’t show anyone my pain bc they don’t care. I need support and don’t know how to ask for help. My tears don’t stop. What could I have done? I tried to see her last year and she couldn’t make time bc of work and we were fighting bc of it. I have to hold onto this now knowing she died thinking she didn’t have a caring sister and I really did love her. I tried herapy it didn’t change my thought process and pain. I want happiness again. I went to see Luke Bryan in her honor bc she loved country and it was painful. I told friends it was hard and no one ever responded to me when I told them I’m sad. I have 2 young kids and I’m trying to live for them and be happy as best I can. This is tragedy and I’m suffering in silence.
This is not a suicide or crisis resource. Please contact a counselor, family member, friend, or emergency services if you are having suicidal thoughts.
In the USA, call:
For Deaf, Hard of Hearing, and People with Speech Disabilities who use a TTY, call 1-800-799-4TTY (4889)