I stopped being mad at anyone

One day last year, she told me she gave a new blouse to our mother, that was a gift to her from me. And my mother had already received a similar gift. A couple of months later, she gave away all her jewelry. Both of these actions shocked me, but I didn’t ask why, fearing to intrude on her privacy. I wish I had asked her directly. Then she began to sound very tired on the phone and not her usual joke making self. But I was going home on May 3, and she was looking forward to us talking in private on the way home from the airport. On March 29, she hadn’t slept in 3 days, with the opioid epidemic, her new doctor cut off her sleep aids, cold turkey. She would not go to the hospital; I live in another state. She talked to her only son on the phone; she refused her husband’s entreaty to let him call an ambulance. She walked in the bedroom, put a 25 caliber to her temple and pulled the trigger.
I only learned what a wonderful person she was as our mother began to have health problems some years ago and my sister assured, ‘Don’t you even worry, I will always be there for our mother’. My sister was one of the kindest and most generous people I have ever met; maybe too kind and sensitive for this world. She never said a word to her son, her husband, not me and not her best friend and there is no note. I miss her every day of my life.

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One Response to I stopped being mad at anyone

  1. Ashley Acevedo says:

    I am so sorry. This is just terrible. I know what you are going through with the letter thing. My brother left a note on the draft of his email and he left a voicemail on his wifes’ phone and gave us the password. My mom tried the code so many times that it doesn’t allow us to try again. It is terrible to feel like there is no closure. I’m sorry.

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