How do you you get through this ?

It’s been five months and 11 days , since my little 23 year old sister took her own life . She didn’t leave a note , she wasn’t who I thought she was . Maybe deep down inside I guess it makes sense , that someone so beautiful inside and out , could do this …. I miss her terribly . People are so weird abou this . Many believe she didn’t do this , that she wouldn’t . My mother is still in denial , and I am full of anger . I am angry because I didn’t know how much she was suffering . The only two people who knew she was suicidal did not take her seriously . Her boyfriend and her ex lover long time friend . Looking back now , I see a confused 23 year old . I wish she wouldn’t have been so lost , we are all lost . The craziest thing is that she had her life so together , she was in grad school she had a God job , she was stunning . She didn’t have self worth …. this honestly a roller coaster of horrible emotions every day . I wanna blame our child hood and our up bringing , I am a suicide survivor. I tried to do it at 14 . I wish I knew what happened to this girl ? To my baby sister . How does one move on ,or lets go of this unbearable anger .??

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One Response to How do you you get through this ?

  1. Bea says:

    I cannot empathise with the pain that must accompany the want/need to make the decision to self harm. I am so sorry you experienced this in your younger life.
    My brother was 40 & 1/2 years old. 3 children under 10; his physical health.
    He Hung himself on Christmas Eve. Never a sign! He left a note to his immediate family ie. Mum,Dad & siblings.
    Cannot believe I’m going to be without him. He no longer exists on this Earth. No NOTHING!!
    He must have been so desperate, so “stuck” then….a moment of clarity…….when all problems could be dissolved/forgotten.
    I miss him so much.

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