Something I’ll never forget

I was house sitting five days prior to my brother’s death. My mom and i don’t get along, so i stayed at my aunts house to get away. The day he was supposed to come over and swim was the day i woke up to 49 missed calls from my mom. I can’t even remember the last thing I said to him. If I had been home, I would have noticed something was wrong. I could have stopped him, but I wasn’t.

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One Response to Something I’ll never forget

  1. Adam says:

    I don’t know how old you are, or anything about you, but you will always find reasons to blame yourself – I still do almost two years later. I blamed myself for not answering my sister’s emails enough, not texting enough etc.

    I’m starting to finally see that there’s nothing me or anyone could’ve done. She’d meticulously planned her suicide for months, and among her belongings was a notebook containing all of her research on how to do it, where to get what she needed etc.

    There weren’t any signs. She’d texted me two days before and acted perfectly normal.

    Take it easy on yourself. It’s not your fault. Easier said than done I know, but it takes time, and it’s heartbreaking.
    Sorry for your loss, but hang in there.

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