I guess it’s Siblings day… It’s been nearly three years since my only brother ended his life. Since his death, I’ve finished my Master’s degree, gotten a career job at my dream school, turned 30 and finally moved out of our parents’ house. I do what I can to keep moving forward, even when I’m exhausted. I can’t become stagnant. So I keep pushing to better my life. But I can’t help but think that my happiest days might be behind me because all the good stuff is tainted with the thought that I don’t get to share it with my brother or the guilt that I get to have things that he can’t have anymore. So I’d trade it all back in a heartbeat to have my brother back. Living under the same roof, stressing over money and work. Even with all the good I’ve tried to make for myself, I miss my old life. I try not to dwell on these thoughts for too long but I just needed to vent as I scroll through everyone’s posts on social media about their siblings.
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