Siblings Day

I guess it’s Siblings day… It’s been nearly three years since my only brother ended his life. Since his death, I’ve finished my Master’s degree, gotten a career job at my dream school, turned 30 and finally moved out of our parents’ house. I do what I can to keep moving forward, even when I’m exhausted. I can’t become stagnant. So I keep pushing to better my life. But I can’t help but think that my happiest days might be behind me because all the good stuff is tainted with the thought that I don’t get to share it with my brother or the guilt that I get to have things that he can’t have anymore. So I’d trade it all back in a heartbeat to have my brother back. Living under the same roof, stressing over money and work. Even with all the good I’ve tried to make for myself, I miss my old life. I try not to dwell on these thoughts for too long but I just needed to vent as I scroll through everyone’s posts on social media about their siblings.

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2 Responses to Siblings Day

  1. Adam says:

    Sorry for your loss, and know the feeling. My sister killed herself on 4/20/18, so almost a year. Same boat as you. I’d trade my house, my car, my job – anything…just to have her back. I just try and focus on the good memories. Keep taking care of yourself and you’re not alone.

  2. No one says:

    I lost my brother 11 months ago. I usually just read the comments on here from time to time- looking for what I don’t myself. I cant even stomach the fact that I am on this site and that this happened to me and my family. I try not to look at any social media posts to avoid seeing families as a whole. Siblings as a whole. Just another gut wrenching reminder of my new life. new norm without him. How is one expected to live normally after a tragedy like this? Flooded with grief on the inside but on the outside I still look normal. This comment is of no help but I guess I’m just venting as well

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