Siblings Day

I guess it’s Siblings day… It’s been nearly three years since my only brother ended his life. Since his death, I’ve finished my Master’s degree, gotten a career job at my dream school, turned 30 and finally moved out of our parents’ house. I do what I can to keep moving forward, even when I’m exhausted. I can’t become stagnant. So I keep pushing to better my life. But I can’t help but think that my happiest days might be behind me because all the good stuff is tainted with the thought that I don’t get to share it with my brother or the guilt that I get to have things that he can’t have anymore. So I’d trade it all back in a heartbeat to have my brother back. Living under the same roof, stressing over money and work. Even with all the good I’ve tried to make for myself, I miss my old life. I try not to dwell on these thoughts for too long but I just needed to vent as I scroll through everyone’s posts on social media about their siblings.

3 thoughts on “Siblings Day

  1. Sorry for your loss, and know the feeling. My sister killed herself on 4/20/18, so almost a year. Same boat as you. I’d trade my house, my car, my job – anything…just to have her back. I just try and focus on the good memories. Keep taking care of yourself and you’re not alone.

  2. I lost my brother 11 months ago. I usually just read the comments on here from time to time- looking for what I don’t myself. I cant even stomach the fact that I am on this site and that this happened to me and my family. I try not to look at any social media posts to avoid seeing families as a whole. Siblings as a whole. Just another gut wrenching reminder of my new life. new norm without him. How is one expected to live normally after a tragedy like this? Flooded with grief on the inside but on the outside I still look normal. This comment is of no help but I guess I’m just venting as well

  3. No One……vent away. It helps! I’m grateful for this site as only we can understand the loss of our sibling. They weren’t just our best friends, blood or partners in life. They were our siblings who we lived with most of our lives. They share memories with us that we don’t share with anyone else and now they are gone. I’m like you, I come one here once in a while when I’m having a hard time or when I feel alone out there dealing with all of this. It’s the only way I keep from crying everyday.

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