To Joe on National Siblings’ Day

Hey bro. I don’t think we ever celebrated this day, but I wish I could with you. It’s been over a year now, but I still remember hearing mom telling me over the phone like a thunderclap.
We all miss you so much. I don’t think I’ll ever get over that you’ll never meet my child or any of our children. I guess I thought you and me were the most likely to get married and have kids, and that we’d be the ones running the big family events. I wish I had realized just how close to the edge you were.
I still don’t know what to tell people when they ask about my siblings. I keep talking like all of my siblings are alive, and then I stumble. I keep expecting you to come back, like you’re just on a lengthy, solitary vacation or something. There’s something so final about suicide that I can’t comprehend, and I just keep waiting for you to come back.
I don’t think any of our hearts will ever heal completely, but I want you to know you’re here with us on National Siblings Day, and we miss you so much.
I love you. I hope I get to see you again.

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