My big brother, Danny

Danny, it’s been over 20 years since you have been gone. Dad recently passed away and it’s been really hard. Its just me and mom now. Im really sad and missing both you and daddy a lot. Father’s day has been hard. I wish you were here. Sometimes I wonder if dad had heart issues because of all the pain, guilt, and trauma from losing you. I wonder if that’s why he passed away too soon. Sometimes im still angry with you for doing what you did but then I remember you were just 17… Next month would have been your 40th birthday. Dads gone at 62. Mom will be 60 next year. I’m trying to buy a place and start a family. My first born son will be named after you. So much has happened and changed and it sucks not having you here. I lay in bed wondering where you and dad are and if you still exist somewhere somehow. I don’t believe in the afterlife but I wish I did. My heart hurts and I just wish my big brother was here. I fight to remember our good memories but its hard. Its been almost 23 years and I still miss you so much. Time has helped but its still hard and losing dad has just made it even harder. I just wish you were still here.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.