Bruised Faith

I had always prayed for a sibling. My parents divorced when I was a baby, but I was determined somehow, someway I would get a sibling. I prayed every night for one of them to get remarried and I could get a brother.In 2008, my father got remarried to my amazing step-mom, and along came my answered prayer. My step-brother Mickey. He was 15 years older than me. I was so excited to have a sibling finally.

In 2017, I talked to Mickey for the last time. His addiction to alcohol had come a head, and he abandoned his wife and kids…. Actually let me rephrase that: the addiction led him to do that. He himself would never do that.

I watched my dad and step-mom try to help him so many times. Money, hospital visits and bills, rehab, new jobs, getting clean, finding him drunk, rinse and repeat. This was a cycle for years. I watched on the sidelines in anger, as he took all their attention. Even in the midst of my own addiction, I faced it alone and never received help from them. My mother, on the other hand, was my angel and helped me. She filled in and was everything I needed. Even when I had my own attempt, she saved me. Her and God almighty saved me from myself.

In April 29, 2026: my brother’s addiction convinced him getting clean was not worth it anymore.  I no longer have to fight for attention. I no longer have to worry about the cycle. But I no longer have a brother….

And I still have faith God has a plan, but my faith is bruised right now.