My Angel on Earth

Two weeks ago today my sister died by suicide. She was 16 years older than me and was often assumed to be my mother both when I was young and as I grew up. Truthfully, she did a lot to raise me. In our family, she was my person. She cared for me, protected me, supported me, encouraged me, and never let me feel alone. I have never felt more alone than I do now without her. I have a hard time imagining my life going on without her here. I am finding myself desperate to see or feel her around me and I haven’t yet. Everyone keeps saying how strong I am but I don’t want to have to be strong.. I just want my sister back with me. I feel guilty that the world is going to keep on turning without her. It doesn’t feel right.

3 thoughts on “My Angel on Earth

  1. I’m so sorry for the loss of your sister. I lost my brother a week ago to suicide and my sister and I are a support for each other. In some ways, if sounds like you lost your sister and a mother figure. I’m so very sorry.

  2. I am so sorry that you are going through this. I lost my brother nearly 2 years ago. I completely relate to not wanting to be strong, and feeling guilty that the world is continuing. This hasn’t gone away completely for me, I still feel that guilt and still have moments where I don’t want to be/can’t be strong and that’s ok. You will get through this, but talk, cry, scream, shout, laugh, remember and everything else that you need to do. Sending lots of love xxx

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