Lost My Brother

On January 1st 2019 It was a year since my brother took his life I still think everyday abot that night we got the news my other brother found him it was a horrible sight and ever since he is in a very bad condition I suffer everyday nothing brings me joy anymore but I gotta pretend I can’t talk about this to nobody out of my family they all suffer I dont wanna be a burden the worst thing is he took his life because he felt lost after he had a motorcycle crash 12 years ago and since then never was the same he was disabled 70% couldn’t work had no girlfriend was depending on others I cant even tell the whole story it is just so hard I cry every night I cant believe it I still see him hear his voice I hate that time goes by and everyday that passes is one more day that I will never be around him anymore he had the biggest heart even in his pain always found words to encourage others if he saw they were down even writing this is so hard I dont expect anything of it I just need to share with others that have the same pain although nothing can relive it.

2 thoughts on “Lost My Brother

  1. I understand. I lost my brother Ray on January 22; his body wasn’t found until the 25th (he was away on a job, in a large city, 6 hours away from us). He struggled with anxiety and pain from a wreck that had left him partially crippled. That led to alcoholism, which he overcame, but then drug use. He had been really sweet in the past few months, and had even told my mom that he wanted to go to treatment. Instead, he shot himself in the heart, in his truck. We buried him on our family property, in the woods, which he loved. He said it was the only place that brought him peace. I understand your pain. I hope everyday for a sign from him, so that I know he is happy and safe. I miss him more than words can express – my only brother, my 35 year old, baby brother. I love you, Ray.

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