It’s been one week

One week ago today you woke up feeling like you have no purpose. Feeling like you didn’t want to live another day. I had no idea you were in such a dark place. I had no idea you wanted to die so desperately. I had no idea because I was so consumed in my own life. I didn’t ask you about yours. I didn’t think about your problems or your sadness. I only thought about my own. I always think I just have to get thru today. Well you couldn’t get thru it last week. You couldn’t go thru one more day. I wish I felt your sadness. I wish I had know your pain. I wish I had told you I love you. I wish I had helping you just get theu the day. I wish your only sibling wasn’t a selfish little sister like me.
Can we be best friends? Can we be sisters when we meet again? I’m sorry I didn’t tell you I loved you.

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3 Responses to It’s been one week

  1. A says:

    I lost my little sister in December. It still hurts so much. I also regret not telling her I love her right before. We argued a lot like most siblings, but we were also just 10 months apart and unbelievably close. I would have done anything for her. I hope she knew that. I wish I could have saved her. The last time I spoke to her I was rushing off the phone because I had to drive my friends to the bus stop. I told her I’d call her later. I forgot. Life was so busy and I just forgot. We texted a couple times after that but I was so busy and consumed with my life also. I should have called her back. She thought I was mad at her. I hope one day I can forgive myself. I know you know deep down you shouldn’t feel guilty, and it’s true you shouldn’t, but I want you to know it’s normal and that I feel it too. Hopefully one day it will be something we learn to carry and cope with better. At least that’s what I keep hearing from others and just keep telling myself ?
    This is a good place to get your feelings out. You are never alone. The pain is horrible I know. I still cry so much. I cried so much and so hard since it happened and sometimes when I’m crying I gasp for air but can’t breathe. I curl up in a ball on the floor and sob and cry out her name. Just know you need to take it one day at a time, and that you can learn to carry it with time, and your sister knew you loved her. All your feelings are normal, and in order to learn to live again in this weird new world without our sisters, we have to embrace it and let ourselves feel however it is we are feeling. Don’t hold it in or pretend to be fine when you aren’t it doesn’t help. Talk to people you trust and it helps to talk to people who have gone through it.
    You’re never alone and you will be ok just give it time.
    ;
    -A

  2. Wendy says:

    I’m so sorry for your loss!!! I feel your pain! I just lost my brother a few days ago…this is devastating…

    • Amber says:

      I am so sorry. This is so hard. I hope you find some peace. My sister took her life June 24,2018. Today I am still at tears when I think about it. It’s very hard. I’m so sorry.

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