If I could turn back the hands of time…

My Brother,
It almost a month since your passing, you left a note behind. Not really saying goodbye! You left me baffled, confused and shell shocked!
I still remember you protecting me since I started to remember memories. All these memories of you protecting me since I was a baby still flashes through my mind.
We been through so much together. You was my Daddy, my Mommy, my Brother, my best friend.
We never had a stable home but that didn’t stop you from making me smile or happy. You did your best to ensure my happiness. You got me my first shaving blade! You thought me how to ride a bike, skate board, spin a top, shoot marbles.
We drank and caught on a alot of kak together. We partied like rockstars! We worked hard and supported each other’s ambitions, whenever I fell you lifted me up. You were my strength whenever I felt weak.
I feel so confused, broken and sick all the time. I get weak when I see you hanging from that roof. It broke me to see you hang so lifeless and I couldn’t do anything to protect you then. I was too late to save your life as you saved mine countless of times!
I miss you brother! I am broken, bruised and damaged. I will still make you proud of me one day!!I love you always.
Ash

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One Response to If I could turn back the hands of time…

  1. Jen says:

    I’m so sorry that you were the one to find your brother. My brother took his life the same way 2 weeks ago and I have been to the location but cannot get the strength or courage to go inside. I’m still in shock and the tears are flowing daily. I just can’t wrap my mind around it all. I can’t stop thinking about him and the life he chose to leave. His children, mother…me! So many thoughts of why didn’t I call him more or try harder as a little sister to ensure his happiness. He walked me down the isle and gave me away a year ago. I thought that would have made him happy. We have two dads and yet he was the man in my life always. He was there for the birth of my child. He was a great father, brother, uncle & best friend. Where do we go from here? When will the pain end or at least get easier. I just don’t know.

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