I love you older bro. (SiblingsSurvivors Guest Post)

It marks nearly 4 months (since May 25/26) since you departed from here.
I am constantly reminded by that night, where I found you asleep. You had your meds, alcohol lying around. You were listening to music peacefully, and had the window with the cold wind.
Simply thinking you were cold from the wind, I didn’t realize that your body was cold and lifeless. You were vibrant that day, and was outgoing, and we even shared a 2 hour conversation before I left to meet with my friend.
I can’t believe your last words to me was I love you too
You didn’t reach out to us, and I honestly feel like we were left in the dark. I knew you were going through things, but I did not realize the severity of your pain and your darkness. I wish we could have done more to guide you out of that darkness.
I constantly think about that night, and my suicidal urges, and the will to live. But you have given me a reason to live, and I will do what is right to fulfill my needs.
Thank you for being my role model and my mentor. When my time comes, I wish I can see you again and reminisce on the good times we had growing up. For now, I realize that life is sacred and I should cherish it.
Love you Rome.

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