It’s a been a month since my brother committed suicide. I feel like I’m not here anymore. I spend all day thinking of him and blaming myself. I’ve always been the rock in my family so I try to stay strong for my parents and younger brother. I honestly feel dead inside though. I’m ashamed to say that my little one will be born soon and I feel no joy. I know I’ll love him he’s going to be given his uncles name but I’m going to be sad that he’ll never get to meet his fun loving uncle Matt.