Two years today we had your funeral ez. I know you were there then and you’re here now. The ice cream van was a nice touch today. I swear all the signs you send me keep me going. I can’t say that the void feels any less than the day we buried you, but I’d like to think I’m much more focused on self preservation and care now, much more aware of the present and understanding of the paths we must lead – You sweetened me up with the ice cream so I might be talking s***. I miss you, not a day goes by without me thinking of your smile. You send stale jokes into my head whenever I’m having a hard moment in my daily life – when I remember you’re not here anymore. In those moments I truly feel my loss of you. I wish I could talk to you about my plans, my aspirations, my love life, things that are going on in the world, how beautiful the cherry tree looks or show you a band I’m into. I know you’re here, but it’s hard because I miss your voice, your jokes, your laugh, your mind, your opinion. I hope everyday that you come into my dreams. I just want to hug you and tell you we miss you. It still doesn’t feel real that it’s been two years. It doesn’t seem possible; the longest time we ever went without seeing each other was under two months. I can’t believe over two years have passed without seeing you. I hope you see the woman I’m becoming, I hope you understand I’m not just doing it for myself, I’m doing it for you. In memory of you, my beautiful big brother. Love you best in the world, beyond this world and into the next lifetime, e

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