According to Mama, I fell in love with you the day you came home, even though I was only thirteen months old. We were together our entire lives; sharing a bedroom for the first eighteen years, sharing an apartment at University. You were my best friend and soul mate, my maid of honour, and my children’s favourite aunt. You know all that. This has been the worst year of my life, all 59 days of it, so far, since learning New Year’s Day that you were missing and couldn’t be found. We drove two hours thinking when we got there, we might actually have a chance of finding you. How you made it to the water is anyone’s guess. I miss you so much. How am I to go forward? I keep praying that you will come back, this has all been a terrible dream. I am told it will get easier, but I cannot believe it. I am broken. You will not be forgotten. I will create something for you, about you, that will last forever. I will love you forever. Tu hermana.
I feel this, and I’m sorry that you’re going through it. I was 15 months older than my ‘baby’ brother and nothing will mend the missing piece of me. Sometimes I think I have accepted I will never be 100% whole, I am broken and I am glad of that because it means I had him and there is someone to miss. Other times I can’t accept he’s gone. A never ending roller coaster.
Sending you hugs and strength xxx
Sarah, I KNOW that you really do feel this and understand. How is it that you put into words exactly how I feel? You sent this message on her birthday. That’s how I know. Thank you.
Returning the hugs and strength xo