My brother committed suicide

Ok January 10 I got the call that forever changed me. My 27 year old brother hung himself. I feel so lost. He was so funny And I love him so much. Some days I’m ok and other days the hole is just immensely unbearable. I just want him back. I feel like everyone else has just moved on and it’s hard to relate with them. No one knows how much I hurt and cry. Even my husband. I definitely feel isolated. The longing to have him back is an almost tangible aching in my chest. I stumbled on this site and thought I would try reaching out.

Bookmark the permalink.

7 Responses to My brother committed suicide

  1. Julie Ryder says:

    Both of my brothers killed them selves. One jumped off a bridge and the other hung himself. When I read your words it was the first time I’ve seen my own feelings in print. I have the oddest sensation running through me right now.

  2. Margaret Burns says:

    Right there with you. So sorry for your loss. I threw up on myself just after his service. Still am physically ill when I can’t get my head around his suicide.

    Love to you and yours

  3. Debbie McCabe says:

    My brother was 53 and he hung himself on 31st Jan 2017. At first, the shock kept the pain away now I have days where the pain is so raw and I can’t stop crying which is unusual as for years I have had no emotions due to other family traumas. (I switched off). I sometimes now have dark thoughts myself and struggle to keep these thoughts at bay just now. Keep wondering why, why, why?? I want my brother back too and felt shocked and hurt that he would leave me here alone. I sometimes feel my heart has literally broken.

  4. Paul says:

    I am so very sorry that you are experiencing the devastating and life changing loss of your brother. I lost my younger brother 7 months ago.

    Yes, the loss is “immensely unbearable”, if not worse. It is all consuming. Even on the “OK Days” the dark shadow of my brother’s suicide is always close by.

    Try not be resentful over the isolation. How would anyone that has not experienced this horrific, reality tearing event have the remotest clue or understanding? There is simply no possible way for anyone to know or understand fully without having the same experience. It is like trying to explain living on Jupiter… Ya just can’t do it. There are no words.

    My sincerest advice, seek out a good grief therapist if you have not already. If you find one and it doesn’t help, find another one. Don’t stop looking until you find someone that is good for you. That is the only thing that has helped me move forward in a healthy way. I am a 48 year old guy and not a “talker” and not a “therapist person” but… best decision I have made in a very, very long time.

    My second piece of advice, when you are ready, is to find a Suicide Survivor group in your area. Its not pleasant to be honest, but it does help you to understand that you are not crazy nor are you alone. I attend once per month. I don’t say a lot, just listen. It helps.

    Hang in there… We are all pulling for you.

    • Lashondra Newton says:

      Thank you for your post. It’s been 6 years since my then 26 year old brother hung himself. I never sought help…I’ve kept myself beyond busy as a distraction. We were really close and I was very involved in seeking help for him…I’ve avoided support groups because of my anxiety, but today was such a difficult day for me…that I know it’s time for counseling and a support group. I can’t try to do this alone anymore.

  5. Margaret Burns says:

    So sad that this happened to all of us. We need to remember good memories. That is how I can keep on going on.

  6. am says:

    my brother just killed himself today. i don’t know how to feel. he was only 21, in his fourth year of uni, just asked my parents for help yesterday. poor him. i can’t begin to wonder what he was going through. i love him so much.

Leave a Reply

You are allowed to enter 2 URL(s) in the comment area.