Missing my little angel

I recently lost my sister at the end of February due to suicide. She was my best friend, my ray of sunshine, absolutely everything to me. I am 26 and she was 22. Her birthday is next week, so I’m having a lot of trouble. We were so close, I have spent the last few birthdays with her and she just graduated from OSU last year. I talked to her everyday, and we even talked to our parents every day which includes telling them goodnight every night. Our family is everything to us. My parents are the most loving, compassionate and selfless people I have ever met. Kristina and I expressed our appreciation every day.
I’m having a lot of trouble understanding why this happened. She wasn’t down ever, in fact – she knew just how to light up an entire room just by smiling. She made those who felt unwelcomed, feel welcome. I cannot even begin to express how proud I am of her, and always will be. I just don’t understand. How could someone who was so happy and loving and strong-willed do. I talked to her all day and night when she passed. She had an argument with her boyfriend and that’s what made her snap. She worked two night shifts, didn’t eat or sleep the day of, and was anxious and upset over her boyfriend.
That being said, I’m not even sure how to begin to process this. I miss her every second of the day. She is my only sibling, and again my best friend. My family will never be the same again, and my heart is just breaking. Thinking of all of you who lost someone as well!

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2 Responses to Missing my little angel

  1. B says:

    I lost my 16 year old sister at the end of March. She was a ray of sunshine. She had a lot of the same characteristics as your sister. I’m still trying to understand why she did it. She had everything going for her. She was so loved and respected by everyone. She was a great kid, super smart and funny. She had the biggest heart, too. I cry every day because the pain is too much for me to handle. Everybody tells me to give it time, but I don’t know if I’ll ever get over this.
    I feel for you. Just know that someone out there understands your pain. Thinking of you. Take care.

  2. Heather says:

    Hello there I can understand how you feel. My sister was 25 and I am 31. She killed herself on Monday July 31st. We were not super close but we were working on it. She was in nursing school and doing very well. She was married and had two young children ages 7 and 16 months. Her husband was wanting a divorce and they had been together for 10 years and didn’t know how she could live without him. She was my only sibling. My heart is broken and I am so angry that she left everyone like this especially my parents and her children. I just have so many questions and wish there was something different I could have done. Our family is so small and has now become smaller. Nothing will ever be the same.

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