Why did you leave me…

Dear Shawn…
Last night i worked a 16 hour shift on the same hall that i received the call three weeks ago.. I stood in that same spot… Remembering the agony i felt when my cousin called me to tell me you had hung yourself..i just keep asking why??? Why didnt u leave a note? Dodnt you care how you would hurt me??? I may be taking this too personally but im so angry at you for not seeing the pain you would put me through with these actions.. Im angry at you for leaving two beautiful lttle boys fatherless even after knowing how it felt to never have a father. Im angry at you for not telling me u were sad. Im angry at myself for not calling u the second before you did it. Im angry that you planned itfor two days.. Yet never said goodbye. Im angry that i didnt know in my heqrt something was wrong.. Im angry that i wasnt there for you.. Im angry that u would threaten any man that if he broke my heart you would brake his face but npw you have broken me more than anyone ever could. Im angry because you changed me the minute i found out. Im angry because i imagine your body hanging from that tree everyday. I just want u to come back… I want to beg you to come back to me but i knowyou cant.. Im so desperate i have begged god to brimg you back even though your body has already been cremated. Im angry cause ur girlfriend that u were only with three months is playing the greiving widow. Im angry at your mother for not shedding a tear at your funeral. I want to hate you!!!! Why would you do this to your baby sister? Why would you do this to your baby boys? I just want you back bubby!!!
-all my love

Bookmark the permalink.

Leave a Reply

You are allowed to enter 2 URL(s) in the comment area.