To my brothers (SiblingSurvivors Letters)

You were both too young to go, and I wish you would have gotten a real chance to see that. I wish I’d visited more often, told you how much you meant to me. I knew you were struggling, and so was I, but never could I have imagined a life without you. 24 and 21 years old, why didn’t I do more? I should have. We all should have.
Life without you is slowly starting to function, but it’s not the same. Not by a long shot. It never will be. Your dog Björn, your stupid dog, he barks a lot and I should take him on long walks but I just can’t bring myself to do it. And Jens.. how I wish we could have had more time together, to get to know each other. Our sister is hurting so much, and so am I. My only comfort is that you have Björn to take care of you, wherever you are.
I do my best at work, with my friends and with school that’ll start up again soon. I wish you were her to see all that in person, and so that you could pet that damned dog. I think he misses you, and I think your cat misses you Jens. We all do.
In 9 months my life has changed in ways I never thought. I honestly thought I’d be the dead one and you’d be writing letters to me on the internet. But I see now that that would never have been possible, you both struggled too hard and didn’t recieve the help you so desperatly needed.
I just want you to know that I miss you more than anything, and that I wouldn’t be who I am today without you. You’re my heroes, and you bet I’ll carry on the legacy. I’ll tell your story a million times to a million people if need be. You’re worth it, you were always worth it.
With great love, and many tears.
-Your sister

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