My dearest older brother. How I love you, how I miss you. It has only been 4 hours since I found out you took your own life. Why didn’t you talk to me? Why didn’t you let us help you? The pain is so unreal I don’t know if I can take it. Our grandmother crumbled to the ground and still cant stop from sobbing uncontrollably. Why would you do this to her? To me? To our siblings, parents, grandparents and friends? We all love you more than words can describe. The pain is worse than anything I have ever experienced. I miss you so much my big brother, I wish I could see you, hug you, hear your voice. You are deeply missed and we will always love and remember you. ❤ please know you will never ever be forgotten. I hope the after life treats you better then the world did. I love you soooo much and I still can’t believe you are gone. my heart is truly broken. Love your baby sister, Amanda.