Time Machine

My older brother was my hero, our grandparents had to raise us because my father wasn’t stable and my mother left us, we almost ended in foster care, I was 4, my brother was 7 almost 8, we were really close, I followed him around like a puppy , we had pretty good childhood, our grandparents were the best and blessing from God for us. My brother took his life on July 9th 2018, broke into our aunts house and shot himself, now I’ve seen it all, I was 3rd infantry division, 2003 Iraq veteran, 1st operation, lost dear friend in suicide car bombing , I’ve seen horrible and traumatic s*** but to be with my brother for 3 days in ICU with his head in the condition it was, well that seems to have taken my soul, my brother was so kind, really smart, top of his law school class, great friends and well loved and liked by all, hell 2000 people showed up paying respect in our little town, I was at work less than a mile away from my aunts house when he decided to leave, now I’ve been with my brother for my whole life, we had 1 bad fight our whole life, he was my hero, very gentle soul, to know him you would love him, the best heart. To be honest, I dont have much family. My brother and I were really close, growing up not knowing our mother hurt but we always had each other to lean on, I’m just lost, feel like my heart and soul has been ripped out,
Life hit my brother too hard and he couldn’t recover, I would give my life happily for his, there is no time machine, and I can’t change what happened, but I hope someone who is on that level with life will read this before they decide, because the amount of hurt, and sadness you have with living, is nothing compared to the pain and suffering your leaving.

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