The lost sibling

My brother and I were estranged until I was 15 and he was 19. We are half siblings and I didn’t know I had a biological father. I tried to get close. And he did too. We talked. Communicated and I felt like I had a new family(brother and older sister). This AM, while scrolling Facebook, i found his suicide letter he posted. He died just as he arrived to the hospital. I don’t know how I should feel, but I feel broken. I can’t express it. And I don’t want to step on anyone’s toes. I know we weren’t that close, but I had a brother and I was missing from his life for so long. Then the time we got was so short and not what I had hoped for. I feel so confused and lost.

2 thoughts on “The lost sibling

  1. Is it common for a family member to commit suicide if there is no motive? We stayed in touch often and we displayed happiness with no history of unhappiness, pain or grief?

  2. I am in a similar situation to you. I lost my brother to suicide this year. I was estranged from him for 17 years pretty much, seeing him once in that time, I remember him as a baby & grieved the years I lost with him growing up. Now I’ll never have the chance to get to know him again & I’m grieving him again, but this time it’s permanent, with no hope for a future relationship with him.

    I know exactly how you feel about not wanting to step on anyone’s toes. That can make me feel very isolated, with no one to share the mourning with. Please let me know if you would like to talk more.

    C x

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