I lost my brother to suicide on May 25, 2017. People say time heals all pain but I detest this statement. He was the first boy and my father’s pride and joy. I would GIVE up ANYTHING to have him back – just to not see my parents in this pain and turmoil. Some dates just bring it all back like it just happened. I am from a society where mental illness has its stigma attached to it. I still remember my cousin’s husband words of how my brother brought shame on our family. I just don’t know how to “deal” with this loss.
4 thoughts on “Ongoing pain for him”
I totally agree. I have lost two siblings one to a car accident and the other to suicide. The time in between both incidents the pain has never subsided.
The only thing that will help is love. Only love can fill the void that your brother’s death has created. Love your friends and family more and more and hold on to them more tightly. All will be well, i guarantee it.
“I still remember my cousin’s husband words of how my brother brought shame on our family.”
Wow. This makes me so angry. There are no words for how naive and intelligible it is to say such a thing. We both know that if he had a brother who took his own life, your cousin’s husband would feel VERY differently. I feel for your loss, for your family, and for your brother. I’m sure he was dealing with a lot of pain and turmoil himself.
Let me tell you, there is no one way to “deal” with a loss. You don’t have to “deal” with it at all. Just feel it. You are entitled to every feeling you have. Know that your relationship with your brother was like no one else’s. Let the pain in. Work through the pain and why you are feeling it. Finally, make his death mean something. Educate people. Suicide is like a disease people die from. Let’s HELP people and break the stigma.
Well said. ??