My brother took his life on January 1st 2018,he was 32 at the time,he had some demons like most of us but they sadly got the better of him on that night,he obviously picked his day,time and place,visited my parents for a while,hopped into his car and drove it into a grass patch around the corner from the family home,moments later there was a massive explosion and he was gone forever.I remember being out that night,it being new years eve it wasn’t uncommon for me to be out,shortly after midnight I checked my phone and saw i had missed calls from both my parents,which was odd,they never ring me for new years or anything like that,knew straight away something was wrong and rang my mother,she told me Patrick was gone,burned himself in his car.he had a few thankfully unsuccessful attempts in times gone by but this time he had made sure nothing could be done to revive him,he left a facebook message on his profile minutes prior to his death.I remember telling my friends i had to go as Patrick had killed himself,i was numb and obviously in shock,I left the club and wandered around the city streets and then my friends found me,I didn’t go home for hours so stayed at my friends house in a haze,i eventually went home and my family were all there with the same looks on their faces. I was told my father broke down,something i never would think could happen,in a way i’m glad i didn’t see it.Anyway it’s coming up to his first anniversary and I’ve been dreading it since he died,he was a great person,a brother who cared for people and put them first,he fought for as long as he could but it wore him out,we didn’t see each other a lot but i always knew he was out there and now he’s not anywhere.So happy christmas Patrick and i hope you found the peace you deserve
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