My younger brother shot himself in head (SiblingsSurvivors Guest Post)

Happened July 13, 2018, he’d been living with me because his home burned down, he was going through a divorce, and charged with arson. I sold all my jewelry, my grandmothers wedding ring, my diamonds and pearls, to get him out of jail. I brought him to my home, he had no clothes, no shoes, i bought him some, i bought him a bed, food etc. There were no signs, we thought he was outside walking, well, walked in master bedroom be there he laid. I can’t even go in my own home now, this was selfish… Not sure i can forgive him, not now, he hurt me real bad, he took an easy way out and left me to clean his mess, i love him and miss him and truthfully don’t think it has even really hit me yet, there are so many feelings!! How do you cope, how do i go back to my home, who pays for repairs in my roof where bullet went through , and the biggest question, WHY????

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8 Responses to My younger brother shot himself in head (SiblingsSurvivors Guest Post)

  1. Marni says:

    I am so very sorry for your deep loss. My brother also shot himself recently, on July 14. He also was going through a divorce, job loss, and criminal charges. These are big challenges for a man to deal with, especially if they don’t have deeper emotional and mental supports in place. I so desperately wish he didn’t do it.

  2. Lish says:

    I am so sorry to hear of your losses. My brother too died by Suicide a year ago in June. While you have so many unanswered questions, try not to think of their passing as a selfish move. In my brother’s instance, his actions were a result of losing to mental illness. He wasn’t capable of thinking clearly. With that said, my brother tried to get help for what he was dealing with and was failed by our medical system. Suicide is usually the result of emotional/mental hardship. I choose to look at challenges in mental health no different than Cancer or Lupus. When people die from one of these tragic diseases we don’t think of it as being selfish, right? Some people survive and some people pass as a result. It’s important to remember the good times you’ve shared with your sibling and remember the person who they were before sickness and burden took their life.

  3. Grace says:

    I’m so sorry to hear of your loss. My brother died a little over a week ago and I’m also struggling with how I’ll ever forgive him for doing this to our family. I think like Lish says we just have to remember that they were suffering from a disease that ended their life and if they weren’t sick, they would never do this to their family.

  4. Brianna says:

    My brother died July 10th, 2018. I wish I could still move past it but I can’t. I miss him, and I’m constantly wondering why he did it. He let temporary problems beat him. He had many mental illnesses, and the health care providers failed him. They said nothing was wrong. He was fine and ready to go home. 4 years ago he wrote a note so we took him to emergency and put him on suicide watch. They said nothing was wrong he could go home. My family and I have made it 2 weeks, and this has been the hardest 2 weeks of my life. I miss my brother. He was 19. His life was just beginning. I’m sorry that he felt alone and he thought this was his only option. My heart is still broken. I’m sorry for your loss, things will get easier.

  5. Amy Hand says:

    I lost my younger brother to suicide a month ago. He had been struggling for many years with depression. I am struggling to be okay. Thinking about the devastating way he left (GSW to the head) and what I could have done to help him that I did not do. Also, did he suffer in his last moments? I don’t even want to ask the coroner. I have a wonderful husband and two beautiful kids to live for. Trying to be okay for them. When does this pain subside?

  6. Kimberley says:

    I lost my baby brother and best friend in a double suicide on Aug 2nd 2018 from carbon monoxide poisoning. I feel numb …I’m so sorry for your loss…prayers

  7. Adam says:

    It’s been five months since my sister put a bag over her head and turned on a helium tank. I don’t think we can ever get over things like this. I’m so sorry for your loss, but I don’t think there are ever answers. I feel like I’ve had a big part of my life taken from me, but I just put one foot in front of the other and keep trying to live my life. I don’t really talk about it, which is probably wrong, but I don’t really know who to talk to. So, when I’m by myself I cry and pray, but that’s about it. I wish every day that this had never happened, as does everyone who writes on this site. I just don’t know if anyone has answers. So sorry to hear about your brother.

  8. Bonnie Kelley says:

    Thank you all, I’m the one who wrote that. Since that tragic day, wow, is really the only way to describe the grieving process. Anger, i was so angry, oh i still do get anger but it’s calmed down a lot, then there’s fear, the fear of the unknown i suppose, resentfulness, the blame game, then, yes, here is all might anger again. You just never know when it’s going to hit you, in the shower, driving, heck at the grocery store in the product aisle, yes all of those and more i had just lost it, broke down, cried, fell to the floor, one night i even started throwing my plates, glasses, anything i could grab, just to break it. To me, that felt so wonderful, then i asked why, not about my younger brother, but why about society today. I’ve lost my best friend, as well as three others because they disrespected him or me. But society, if you even mention suicide, they either walk away or change the subject, no one wants to address the issue, SUICIDE IS AN EPIDEMIC!! These teens, young adults, older adults, all age groups now a days are dying by suicide but yet nobody wants to deal with them when they cry for help. Very very sad! With that said, i have been asked to be a speaker at our local boys and girls club on suicide awareness and the effects of death by suicide. I gladly accepted. Every where i go, no matter where it is, i bring up my younger brother, every day, every place, could be five could be twenty places a day, but someone in that place i visited hears about my younger brother. Why do i do this? It helps me, it hopefully helps the person i tell to wake up and realize suicide is real, instead if turning their head at me. Only two people since that fateful day actually stood and talked with me, TWO!! It’s been 6 months, I’m always going somewhere, that is a lot of people that turned their backs on me and suicide. I’m on a mission now, a mission to make it aware that suicide does exist. We need to make our communities more aware and make them open up and not be ashamed or scared of the word “SUICIDE” !! Again thank you all for the kind words, to tell you the truth i don’t remember writing that but i know it was me. Grieving is a scary thing, that’ll be my next venture. God Bless and y’all are in my thoughts and prayers.

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