my younger brother jeff

my 27yr old brother jeff struggled yrs with depression that turned into drug abuse and on oct 8th 2016 7pm turned into him shooting himself at a friends house in his kitchen i realize that suicide has no good timing or reason he found out him and his girlfriend were going to have a baby boy the day before he did this my kids loved him we loved him he had to know he was ganna break our hearts that day and it wasnt enough to keep him here i would hope anyone thinking of doing that would put in the work required to find reasons in there life ppl hobbies help my brother didnt and thats the hardest part he didnt wait to see his son he didnt get councling he did drugs and made it worse harder for him to cope

17 thoughts on “my younger brother jeff

  1. You would call often to tell me you were going to shoot yourself and you would say i love mikey and you would want me to tell you the same. I wouldn’t because i didn’t want you to go but after yrs of me not telling you, you left anyway. I miss you already and i did love you. I hope you know that because all i can do now is think about all the right things i didn’t say and all the wrong things i did say. I know Chris passing away just 6 weeks earlier probably made it harder to cope. I pray that he came for you that day and the two of yous are watching and waiting for the rest of us. Our house feels empty without the two of yous here. I don’t want to be home anymore. I am looking forward to meeting your baby boy in February. I don’t know why all this had to happen to us. I just want yous home, but its forever.

  2. i think about you everyday jetrow so does everyone else this hurt everyone but at the same time we understand you had alot of pain for a long time your baby boy will be here soon im looking forward to meeting him at the same time the thought of it kills me because you should be there i cant rap my head around the fact that you robbed yourself of this you didnt deserve this kind of death

  3. still thinking of you brother we miss you every day still having brake downs in every quiet corner of the house i want a do over but i know it will never happen and that will bothers me to my death rest easy jetrow i really hope something special happened for you when you took your last breath real magic if your out there somewhere tell chris we miss him to every single day

  4. jetrow the days are not getting any easier thanksgiving has passed i just feel like anger is building inside me i feel like cutting my christmas tree into pieces i want to throw my stove threw the back window shit like that runs threw my head all the time im so frustrated first chris then you it was to much i really think jeremy is on his way as well he uses your death as a reason to get messed up even more than before i dont know why this was the life path picked for me but im tired the last 3 months have been a real test i will emerge on top im sure but but not unscaved when the bleeding stops not sure how much of me will be left i will miss you and chris every day till im gone rest easy my brothers

  5. its been just over 2months know jetrow ill never understand your reasons behind killing yourself while waiting to be a daddy you could have changed your life for the good the pain you had didnt go away it lays with us now but i forgive your mistakes like always because your my brother and now just a memory i miss you everyday

  6. jetrow im still here thinking of you i know the messages are getting smaller but the amount of thinking of you and chris i do daily is getting to be more and more. i cant believe that 2016 was so bad to us. All i want to fight the air the alleged ppl watching over us but it would be pointless because it changes nothing

  7. jetrow i feel stupid that i didnt come on here and tell you merry christmas yesterday i was filled with rage for the last 3 days my hole body hurts from my anxiety but merry christmas i did think of you and chris all day night and since yous have been gone im really tired and im really really trying to move on with no ground gained i dont know why this had to be what it is my hole life sucked minus a couple of things but even anything good at this point will go un notice i did tell your urn merry christmas and straiten your hat up so you look fresh just like always r i p jetrow

  8. missed you last night with the new year coming in jetrow i hope all really is well were ever you are rest easy

  9. Well, the baby shower went good. Bree didn’t get embarrassed too much. I can’t believe your boy will be here next month. Time is flying but feels like it was just yesterday you passed. I don’t have much to do now that you and Chris passed. I don’t understand this shit that was here in my destiny to live to see someone like Chris die, then you to take your life. It’s a messed up reality that never gets easier. I think of the you and pray to god whether he is there or not. I’m not sure but I ask him to come to you and make sure you are hanging out together waiting for the rest of us. I miss you more than anyone could know

  10. Jetrow, you have been on my mind for two straight days now. it was chris for a while – now back to you. yous have been ganging up on my mind…f*** cant believe it really happened. the day you left came back to me in a rush yesterday and here i am. i pray to see yous again one day. till then, i will think of you and chris daily. rest easy brothers.

  11. jetrow the world without you or chris is a sad 1. its getting worse as the months go by. i don’t want it to be like this. not 1 day has passed that i don’t think of you. i hate the new reality its all fake

  12. your boy looks at me with a deep gaze. he is such a little turd. it’s real hard to see him knowing you didn’t. i wish i knew why you did this to us.

  13. Jetrow it’s been a while but never from my mind. The eagles are in the superbowl man. i wish you were here for it. i sure hope you and chris are watching. hope we pull 1 out. i could use it. ain’t much to be happy about any more. eagles sb win could carry me thru the next yr. maybe nothing seems to fall in my favor ever. always struggling with everything. i’m tired mentally and physically. i feel like i just eat sleep and breath and repeat every day with no hope for better days because i truly know they are behind me.

  14. we did it jetrow! our birds won the super bowl. wish you could have watched it with us. the joy is awesome but not complete. i wish things were different. we think of you and chris daily. i know you are at rest but i wish we were still in the fight.

  15. Its almost christmas again 3rd one without you d___ your boy is getting big. s___ is going fast but i feel like i stood still for it not much excitement in the world anymore just bland and weird but anyway rest easy if you are there somewhere i hope its blissful and everything you hoped it would be

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