My Brother

Several years later and I don’t feel better. I never will. I miss my brother and nothing will ever change that. There are moments when I feel joy, and I feel him with me. I know he wants that for me and those he loved on earth. I know he doesn’t want me to cry every time I think of him. But, I do. Every. Single. Time. I might hold back the tears, but they are there. I gulp them down, and force a smile. I feel abandoned, and I never won’t feel that way. But he tossed himself away more than he tossed me away, and the pain of that is unbearable. He was so loved. SO LOVED BY ME. Worshipped. To the end of time, I will remain devoted to his memory and the times we shared. I will always love him. I feel him now with me. He is around. I just wish I could talk to him and hug him and laugh with him and tell him I am sorry I ever let him down. He deserved more and better then he got. So much more. I hope there is an after life and all his dreams are coming true. I love you, my brother. I miss you, my brother. Always.

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