Lost Soul

My little brother passed away 9/4/19. I was in disbelief when I heard the news. My heart ached so much. I started to regret not spending more time with you. I was angry I didn’t take you with me when I came to visit. I just didn’t think you liked girly things and I didn’t want to bore you. I wished I’d created more memories of you. I regret so much not being about to connect with you like you connected with your close friends. I can’t imagine how sad and lonely you must have felt about life, the world, and insignificant. You have no idea, but I had plans to do and take you places with me and support you along the way. I’d wish you gave me a chance to get to know you. I tried hard to be there and listen to you. Idk if I was the only one that ever tried to reach out to you, but I hope you knew your family loved you so much. Your friends adored you. You made an impact on people’s lives and I wished you saw that before you left us. Ik you probably felt leaving a letter would bring more harm than good, but it would have been some kind of closure for us to understand WHY you left us. I love you so much and I don’t want you to be lonely wherever you are. I wish you come to visit me in my dreams. Sometimes, I wish you’d come back to take me with you. I’m left with so much anger in me, I have no way to deal with it. I’m not the same without you anymore. I just want you to know, you were never alone, and that I would have tried much harder to keep you alive had I known you were feeling like it wasn’t worth it anymore. I just want you back. I just want to come home and see you on your bed. I just want to go back in time when you were little and relive those happy moments. Wait for me. I’ll see you again.

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