My sister hung herself almost a year ago. She actually succeeded at age 45 to end her life. She had made attempts since age 15. Dad was a senior police officer, mom abandoned us when we were teens only to re-enter our lives when we were older. I’m feeling so angry at my parents. They didn’t help her enough growing up to get her the help she needed. They were too preoccupied with their own lives. I miss my big sis so much, but find I’m so angry at my parents. Anyone else feel this?
Yeah. I mean…I blame myself a LOT. I was “too preoccupied with my own life” as you put it, and trying to heal my own mental health. I’ve specifically chosen not to be a romantic partner or parent because of this. But I didn’t have a choice with my sibling. And I was eleven years older so I felt more responsible like a parent.
My Mom wasn’t perfect but she tried harder than any of us…and had my siblings father done the same, I firmly believe I’d still have them here. He did nothing. And he has not a care in the world now either. During their last fight he specifically told them he wouldn’t cry at their funeral…that poor kid. What in the hell that must have done to their self image…
So…while I blame everyone, me my sibling and “professionals” included, it’s hard not to feel really bitter towards the person that was supposed to love and protect them from day one.