You wasn’t happy, I should of known you would kill yourself. It’s funny to think that everything is okay and I can be strong for mum and dad but I can’t. I’m so sad, I cry to myself everyday just remembering you. The huge cuts I saw across your arm as we washed up dirty dishes a few weeks before you decided to leave my life forever. I know i’m an idiot, I wasn’t a great younger sister but I have looked up to you my whole life. You were everything I wished to be and now you’re gone. The sadness in this house never fades as dad hides his emotions, mum loses herself and I become more depressed. I guess it’s best that you’re not sad anymore but this family will never be the same.
2 thoughts on “I should have seen it coming.”
It’s been Six years tonight that my little brother killed himself – it’s the one night of the year that never gets easier. I put up a picture the 1st time tonight. The rest of the days and years the pain dulls and you get on with life.
Little brother I love you x
Tomorrow, Veteran’s Day, it will have been 32 years since you killed yourself, Robert. We were so close, and I still don’t have an answer as to why you did it. I knew something was off the day before and tried talking to you on our way to work, that evening. You were stuck inside yourself and wouldn’t let me “in”. I wonder if I had pressed you about your thoughts and feeling if things would have ended up differently and we could have shared so much more of life and family things. You would have gotten to meet your niece and her three children, your grand niece and nephews. You are still in my heart and it still hurts that your are not here to share life with our extended family. You would have loved the boys…Brayden reminds me of you in so many ways, and David has problems with learning, similar to your’s. Missing you! Love you so much.