I miss you…

A week ago my brother took his own life. He and I, as well as our older sister, have always been close. We all lived together. Despite being close, ive learned so much about him in this Last week. His girlfriend shot herself when they were sixteen, but I thought that he had moved on. He had a fiancé that loves him, and a stepson that meant the world to him. He also had a very bad drinking problem. My brother in law told me that he came home one night and found my brother sitting on the couch with my pistol laying next to him. Jeff looked at our brother in law and said,”it would have been so easy.” I can’t help but feel like, if I had known, I could have stopped him from actually going through with it. What I’ll never understand is why he used my gun. Of all the other guns in the house, of all the other ways he could have done it, why my gun? This week without him has been the hardest time in my life, and I have no idea how I am supposed to go on without him. I love you so much jeff, I will miss you every day.

2 thoughts on “I miss you…

  1. He must be relieved of his own misery, pain and confusion. He must not have allowed himself to realize how much this would have hurt you! He could not have imagined how much pain he would leave in the wake of his decision to leave this world. My brother did the same in the early 1970’s…took me many years to process the death and to forgive him!

  2. I’m so very sorry for your loss…. I, too, lost my brother this week and I was very close to him as well….all we can hope, is that things get better with time… I will keep you in my prayers

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