I don’t know how to deal

I received word this past Thursday that one of my older brothers committed suicide. He lived, but on life support for 3 days and was pronounced brain dead and his life support was pulled on Monday. We all loved him so very much. He leaves a wife and 3 children behind, he was 40… and 5 siblings including myself behind…I am so confused. I almost don’t know which way is up anymore. Everyone who spoke to him up till that day said he was his normal happy self. I have so many questions….and they will probably never get answered: was there anything I could have done? Said? That would have stopped him??? He was very close with us and I always bragged about him. He had bipolar disorder and manic depression, even still he has been through so much.. so why now??? Is feeling confused,hurt and angry normal???

1 thought on “I don’t know how to deal

  1. Yes all of your feelings are normal. It’s been three months since I lost my younger sister. She was 27. I feel all of those emotions every day. She had BPD and struggled but no one saw it coming. I am still in shock. Half of me went with her that day. I wonder why every day. I miss her every minute and the pain is excruciating and never ends. Never let anyone tell you how you are feeling isn’t normal. People sometimes expect more of me—like I should be better now than I am, or that I should be handling it all better by now….it’s only been three months! It still feels like yesterday.

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