How Long

How long will I will i be angry at people? I feel like I cant relate to any of my friends when they talk about their problems. I hate everyone that complains about the smallest s*** and meanwhile I have a entire my mountain weighing down on my back.
I was not a bitter person before this loss, but now I find myself angry and bitter at others most of the time. And since most don’t know about my loss and this especially of this nature my distantness NO ONE understands.
When will this feeling stop?

7 thoughts on “How Long

  1. Hi there. I’m sorry for your loss and how you are feeling. My brother hung himself almost 4 weeks ago. I was at an event with my friends when I took the call from my mum. And you know what? I’ve not heard from a single one of those “friends” since. No condolences, anything. Pathetic and I cannot believe I wasted good years of friendship on them. The anger and bitterness I have keeps building, and I just want to scream. I have deleted my social media accounts, as I cannot even look at others lives continuing on as normal. Because this only happened to me, not to anyone else. I hope this feeling stops too.

  2. Hi. My sister killed herself on April 21st, 2018. I too was angry that nobody understood, people would complain about their daily problems which were so small in comparison to what we’ve been through. I’m here a year and a few months later to tell you it will get better over time. I’m not saying you’ll ever forget – because you won’t, but your days will get better with time. Trust me, I still think of my sister every single day, but once the anger started to fade it was replaced with sadness, which is now just a kind of acceptance. I don’t talk about it with anyone, just because it’s tough to think about. Just hang in there and know that it’ll get better for you.

  3. My brother took his life on February 20,2019. It was the worst call I ever received….making the call to my dad & sister weren’t far behind SIL didn’t want people to know the circumstances of his death, which I think has done more harm to me…I struggle everyday to hold in the tears.
    This is truly the worst experience of my life & yes I’ve lost others including my mom but there are no words for how I’m struggling right now as well so I try to just put on that “happy face”

    1. Paula: I know exactly how your feeling. My family don’t want people to know the circumstance of his death too. Every-time I hear someone say “its ok at least he passed away peacefully or naturally” it literally hurts my heart so much I cant even utter or respond to anyone. Its the most shattering feeling knowing the truth behind the circumstance and still trying to live with it every second of the day and put on this facade. Its a burden I would not wish on my worst enemy. I’m sorry I cant say any uplifting words now as struggling to cope myself

  4. I lost my brother 12/24/18. I completely isolated myself for the next 3 months and to some extent, still do. At the deepest levels of this I am alone. No one I know has lost a sibling to suicide and cannot understand the depths and waves of the grief. 7 months after and it isn’t much better. I mean if I don’t think about it, it’s better, but if I allow myself to dwell on it, it’s as paralyzing as it was when I received the call.

  5. Hi, the fact that you are here, expressing your anger and connecting with others who can relate is a big step towards progress. It shows a readiness to transform your anger and move to the other stages of the grieving process. The anger does subside. I know it did for me. I lost a brother to suicide 10 yrs ago, I feel like I just got to the other side of it and two days ago another brother hung himself. I try to remind myself to direct the anger and channel it properly and not direct it ay others who don’t know or understand.

  6. I completely feel the same way. He was my only sibling. I still haven’t told my very best friends how he passed. My boyfriend is the only one who knows because he was with me when I received the call. Not even my extended family knows. It’ll be 1 year on 9/22 and I don’t know how I will ever cope with this.

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